Recently I've been battling with the idea of being strong and like most unperfectly natural humans I'm pretty rubbish at it.
I am an emotionally driven person and once I'm battling something sad it turns into more of a crusade than a small brawl. Some days I am totally ok, and the next day a chink can find it's way into my armour and I am weakened for the foreseeable few days.
However, overall I believe I am a strong person. I am very clear in what I want and expect and do not settle for anything less. I am also good to be leant on by other people who are struggling in their lives and I often exercise my right to reply if anything less than favourable gets suggested for me.
I am just not very good at personal attacks on my character.
I think this is a remnant from when I was bullied, but whenever someone I know says something that directly attacks my person, it sticks (on the internet less so, as I can separate the anonymous hate stirrer from the words they write) and I replay it and it hurts. It's even worse if everyone around me says stuff like "they didn't mean it" because too me at least, they did. I do get past it eventually but I can't say I have an "I don't give a shit" dial that I can just turn on whenever someone is hurtful, I simply have to talk myself out of it and having a best friend is extremely useful (Hi Lily!), as they always remind you that at the end of the day they are words and it just doesn't matter, they will make you cry laughing so that you can forget, at least for a while, about how it hurts.
So I think you can be a strong person and absolutely suck at being strong yourself because to me there is a difference. But what do you think? Leave me a comment below if you've got any thoughts.
All the best and lots of luv,
Amber xx♥️
