Everything falls into place.

Hey guys,

It's such a cliched phrase but it's the root of my year review. As you know I am a strong believer in universal balance but only until this year did I realise its true power.

This year has had major highlights, including my very first long haul flight which took me to India. I saw some amazing things and some very saddening things, it's one of those places where you see a bank next to a slum, but hey, that's irony for you. I did enjoy this trip, it was spiritually very eye-opening, you think Britain is multi-faith well in India you have Buddhists, Sikhs, Hindus and Muslims; all very passionate and strong willed, living in harmony and with very little dispute, which is unusual to most multi-faith countries if you believe what you read.

I also experienced my first holiday (well I don't really know what to call it) which showed me that most holiday glimmers fade with nostalgia when you get home. Shame really. I have, despite that, made some really good friends and plans to go back to Tolo when I am older.

I have been working very hard this year which is one of the reasons this blog has been neglected, GCSE's began in June and then the stress rolled in, which has been good to learn to handle, if at worst I feel I can cope better now I have been through it once.

As I mentioned in the last post I also lost my great-grandad this year and he was buried last Friday. I think watching a human die has to be the world's worst thing to experience, definitely made me a stronger person.

I guess that the best thing that has changed me this year is learning not to take anyone's bullshit any more, I have spent to long feeling weak and pathetic and something inside of me just said "Amber, what the hell are you doing?" and I realised that I wasn't going to let it get to me anymore. Now I am not playing the martyr card here and really don't want sympathy, I just now don't have the tolerance to take crap anymore. This year there was a massive argument between two of my closest friends and me and in the end I just realised it wasn't fair and spoke up, I lost one of my friends but now I'm after a drama free life and I deserve it.

So I am stronger, I've cried a bit and I have had one of the biggest years to change me in a long time, I know who my true friends are, who has my heart and trust, I love my parents more than anything in the world and I am starting to sort my head out into a vague idea for the future but as Harry says in the new film:

"Hermione! When have any of our plans ever worked? We plan, we get there, all hell breaks loose!"

Which is so true, the whole world sorts itself out in the end, Wars start, peace comes, Loose your job, get the job of your dreams, Broken heart, finding the person that should of been there all along etc...

The world in balance.

Love you guys,

Amber xx

the Taj Mahal in the distance, the symbol of symmetry and love. 2011

Immortality of the Soul.

Readers, Friends,

Yesterday at 9.15am I lost my great-grandad John Henderson. He was 95. He had lived through the end of one and fought in the second World War. He was the strongest, kindest, cheekiest and loving man I have ever met. Me and my mum were by his side when he took his last breath. He held on to life until the very end. He was at peace and comfortable. I am honoured to of had him in my life. It's only when you watch life end that you really understand what life is and how wonderful it is.

The strangest thing is the advice people give you when you loose someone is similar to when you have a broken heart. It's mainly be strong and eat chocolate. Both are very good pieces of advice. However people tend to want to give you space but for me that's the last thing I want. If I sit on my own in the quiet all I will do is cry. It may sound ridiculous but when I am on my own and sad I am my own worst enemy. So all I have done is rally the girls around me and distracted myself. I will never be able to forget him but he would not want me to be beside myself and crying 24/7. School is a massive help. 6 hours a day when I don't have any extra headspace. Perfect. It never gets easier to get over loosing someone, the days just become easier to deal with. One at a time.

I hope this reaches out to anyone who has lost anyone. I wish you all the best.

Love,

Amber x

Grandad - RIP ♥

Crossroads.

Hey Guys,

I am so so sorry that I have been a bit distant recently. Life has definitely been interesting to say the least. I recently came back from India and landed myself several tonnes of homework in return and also had a few personal hiccups along the way... But I am officially back and ready to look into the future.

This post has been a long time coming and it is about the choices you make in life.

My theory is that every so often you look at a choice and you should visualise the decisions as paths of a crossroads, consider all reactions ( "every action has an opposite and equal reaction" Newtonian Law of Motion) and then make your move. If everyone did that then any third parties (the ones stuck in the middle) would suffer a lot less headaches and there would be less tears shed overall.

I also believe strongly that every person has to head down a certain path of the crossroads around the age of 15 (or though sometimes younger) and this is the one that decides what kind of person you are. Not who you are in terms of what job or life you will have; the path that decides how long your relationships will be, who with, how many relationships you will have, when (or) if you settle down... I am sure you get the drift!

All these factors depend on which personality path you take, if your nice or not, loving or evil, easy or actually has a grasp of self respect, desperate or happy to wait for love. From my observations people tend to head down the same path as all their friends, not only making them sheep but also living with a choice that they do not actually feel is right for them. This choice is important because people will judge you on it. If people get close to you and get put off by the choice you make then you may loose a perfectly good relationship for nothing. This has nothing to do with how you present yourself, its all about the inner person.

One example is the perfectly nice person on the surface and then the switch flicks and the deceitful person comes out who can break a heart. These people cannot be helped and you have to just get over them because they will never change, they could be a best friend, a lover, someone you give your heart to fully and out of nowhere comes a dark place they hide from the world. I hope you never find one, they are not very common I promise and trust me, it's not your fault they often have issues deeper than you could know.

On a lighter note, sometimes, you meet a person and cannot believe your luck because they are your match in every way and although it can take time, will be some of the truest of friends you will ever meet, when you find it treasure it because it will be the best thing that can happen to you.

To finish in time old fashion with a quote:

"In the progress of personality, first comes a declaration of independence, then a recognition of interdependence." Henry Van Dyke

Luv, Amber xx

Life is meant to try you...

Hey guys,

Basically the last few months of my life have been hard to say the least. Friendships have been torn, my home life dropped a bomb on my summer and my school life has been turning up the pressure but somewhere amongst all the crazy I shook myself and remembered a line from S Club 7 (my childhood hero's) "life is meant to try you but your time is comin' around" and it inspired me to write this post which has been a long time coming.

Basically I am not a theist but I do believe there is a grand design which has set us on a path of life. And life is hard. When adults say it in a kinda tough luck way, instantly your mind goes to "k." but it is actually really hard and it is the way you deal with it that makes you who you are. So life is hard - but what can you do about it, well there isn't a manual unfortunately and that sucks (they have manuals for kids toys that are just binned but not for the important stuff, mad) So all you have to do is remember that basically it gets better and your good fortune comes around. It takes several trips into the dark to bring out the light.

When it all gets too hard, don't put up a wall and pretend you're ok if you're not. Breakdown. Cry. Let it all out and turn to someone who knows you the best, your heart. Your heart is there to tell you everything will be ok. Every fortune will come true. Every table will turn. So once you let it out trust me, it will feel better. Then look at yourself in the mirror, dry your eyes and smile. Remember that there is something about you so mind blowing that you make everyone jealous. You're just too fabulous.

Life is crazy. One moment you can be on top of the world and having huge success. Then in a second someone can be bitchy and absolutely crush your mood. I have had a crappy day and couldn't of felt worse and an unexpected text has made me grin like a soppy cartoon character, and I have had the best day then get sad news about someone I love. I never loose the hope it will be alright in the end.

To finish I have to end with a quote from a man who wrote books that are frankly genius. I also happen to believe it sums up how life feels very well:

"He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it"

-Douglas Adam The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Never forget who you are,

Amber xx

All a girl needs.....

Hey readers,

This post is kinda aimed at females but I hope it won't alienate my male readers. Basically this is me thanking the most important people in my life and hoping to teach you my readers that when life gets hard there is always someone who will listen to your ranting anytime of day or night and pick you up whenever you are down - for me it's my girls and my mum.

Firstly Mum, wow I can't really write everything I have to thank you for down because its every single day for 15 years and 9 months. I cannot thank you enough for the cuddles, the conversations and the friendship that makes us more than just mum and daughter, we are friends, best friends. I love you and care about you more than anything on the Earth. Thank you.

Lily, For 10 years we have had the most fun. I have quiet literally cried with laughter (only to have you say I sound like a certain Mr.MJ lol) when I am with you and we have so many memories. You have slept over in all 3 of the houses I have lived in and I mean it when I say I actually have no idea what I would do without you, you're the sister I never had. Thank you.

My girls, all of you and you know who you are. Whenever I have needed you, you have been there. I completly trust you and I can lean on you anytime. I hope I am as good a friend to you as you have been to me because you are the nicest girls alive. I can't wait to see you girls grow up with me, I have many more sleepovers and bbq's to throw and I want you all there. I love you girls.

All of you, even if you wern't mentioned specifically, have pulled me out of some massive dark times and this post is the start of my thank you.

So for all of my readers who think you are alone, doubt yourself, have been dumped, have been used, feel lost, need support or just a hug, believe me when I say that if you reach out far enough there will be someone there to help and you will make a friend for life. That's what I did and I have never felt more thankful for friendship.

Thank you and love you,

Amber xx

I will wait for you...

Hey,

So this post is about when someone says to you or asks you to wait for them and it happens a lot more than most people think. Everytime you text/call or speak to someone they ask you to wait for there reply no matter how long that takes - and it can be anything from almost instantly to months and months. Some people are very patient and can wait for that person, I on the other had have the worst patience in the world (apart from my mum) and am like a lot of people who hate to have to wait and then sometimes get let down by the response.

I guess the best way to handle this in life is to learn the hard way, for some people I have completely given up hope that they will care enough to give me a response but not everyone is that bad, trust me. In a new relationship it takes time to get through the akwardness of not being with each other a lot and then trying to convert that over a distance is hard, so the best thing to do is persevere but don't become needy (that's not cool) if it helps then yes, get mad, act not bothered, just do anything to keep you from giving up because it does turn around in the end. And you will get an answer either a yay or a nay.

Oh a just a note on long distance relationships, despite popular belief that they fail, some people do actually make them work over time, probably not the best idea if you don't completely trust the other person but hey, if you don't trust them when they are close to you, that needs to be addressed before you even think of taking the relationship further.

Finally, this waiting thing is not the same if you are waiting for results or jobs etc. Everyone has to wait so suck it up, if you did your best then the results will reflect that and you will always find some way of persuing your dreams and anyway "if you reach high enough, you make just find something unusual, happiness...."

Lots of Love,

Amber xx

Tugging at the heart's strings ♥

Hey readers,

When two people meet nature releases a spark into the air and it either lights or dwindles into ashes. For scientists it's the release of hormones that make people fall in love or no release and no romance is created. Now I fully believe in the chemistry aspect but I'm sure it's more than just hormones (sorry science)

Something that happens A LOT in nature is that two people meet and there is chemistry but it takes one of the pair longer to feel it than the other, which can lead to one potential heartbreak and a tonne load of confusion. As humans it's natural to get wrapped up in the comfort a Romeo and Juliet relationship will bring to your life, but sometimes pushing things is defiantly not the way to get the ideal result.

I have truly learnt this lesson the hard way as life is seriously surprising and you can think you feel things and the other person can be completely unaware of how you feel and how to treat you. Usually the key is to enjoy the relationship in whatever form it is. Yes, talking to other friends and family can make you see the other person differently to how the situation really is but you have to shake yourself to the reality that you are only at the stage you are and if its right, its right.

It's been said by psychologists that you make a lasting impression on someone in the first 2 minutes you meet them and that's what will stick in their mind, well I believe that its the first time you meet someone on your own that the true personality comes out. When you see someone on their own and if they let you in to the real them its usually a good sign but it can and should take several weeks before you decide if they can be worth spending time and effort on and maybe even making them a friend.

Not to sound cynical about love at first sight but as I observe it, relationships tend to work better if you are friends as well because you already know their flaws and also it largely reduces the 'issues' that break couples up over. As this post is missing one of my legendary metaphors here is a cheesy one: "You need to be able to drive before you jump into an F1 car, because at least then you can steer and break"

Never forget: trying to hide who you really are in a relationship will mean you live in a lie which could be self destructive, you should seriously be in love with the person who (apart from family and longtime friends) knows all about you and your flaws and will be your best friend when that's all you need.

Luv as always,

Amber xx

Escaping Reality...

Hey,

Holidays are the perfect time to escape anything that may be stuck in your mind and you can't seem to shake it. This holiday I want to esacpe from my normal life, the one that I am lucky to have and I know that. However, every now and then we all need to escape. I thought I could do it sitting by the docks in Canary Wharf, watching people go by but all I could think about was the one thing I wanted to escape from: myself.

When life catches up with you, you're normally fine but it can take forever to get over something.  This time I am ready to be relaxed and removed. When you escape you shouldn't change yourself, just open your mind to the idea that everything will be fine as soon as it can be. Just take yourself and a friend and go wherever necessary to loose the worries. It can be a spot you love, country, town, house, you name it.

I guess you guys have realised that I believe in the universal balance of life. Once you have been through enough, life will give you an opportunity to loose the stress, pain, conflict and be truly at peace, it comes eventually I promise. It's part of the order, don't let it pass by.

Remember however escaping reality is temporary, eventually you come back but it does have the chance to change you and that cannot be missed. After all every thing is happening all at once and in a planet of 7 billion people, no one is ever alone despite what it may feel like at the time. Always remember to reach out and you will find someone who can help you to your inner peace, I suppose for me it's my mum, but it can be anyone, anyone who is special.

Luv as always and best wishes,

Amber xx

Ego: The dark side

Hey guys,

So one of the most common things I talk to people about relationships is how the other person is acting. The shocking thing is when it comes to having a relationship, unless the two parties are completly on the same page, games tend to be played. And both sexes are as bad as each other. Ego is the issue hear. If you want to get attention from the other person you look for ways to get the desired effect; getting power over the other person is usually the easiest way.

And you should be able to spot the insecurities a mile off, but it does take practise. All I can really say is that relationships should be able to function normally, you should both be able to have a balanced life and a happy one. You shouldn't have to say anything that is a lie to protect the world from seeing the real side to the other person. In no relationship should one person be made weaker than the other to solve a self-confidence issue. If you have to defend the other person to your friends and family, then maybe you should take a look at the relationship in more detail. Are you always made to look like the one in the wrong? Do you let the other person get away with basically hurting you infront of your face just because after they will talk cute to get you back? Worst of all; Does someone have a temper that they just 'can't' control?

All of these statements are used day in day out by the people who are trapped in a bad relationship. Sorry to be blunt but thats what it is. If you have ever had to say anything close to the stuff in the paragraph above, get out of the relationship because it could get so much worse and you could put yourself at real risk, especially the beating and domestic abuse. Relationships that contain abuse even small, never gets better, it means there is anger and all that will do is grow. It's a warning from nature, you'll be wise to listen to.

So I hope you all have taken note because it does happen, most people are genuine but there are plently of people waiting for a power-trip and it's hard but you cannot let it happen. Balance is the point of the universe, ying and yang, light and dark, black and white.

Best wishes, if you need my advice on anything drop me a comment and I'll do my best,

Amber xx

Romance is NOT dead!

Hey,

Right people lets get the ball rolling with the first subject matter: Romance. Now I am well aware that I am not alone in wishing to be properly romanced by a guy, however I see many a girl/woman, fully aware of the concept of romance, throwing herself at the first thing that moves, reducing her self respect to nought and showing herself to the world as frankly desperate. And guys you are not innocent. Women and girls these days are convinced that every man will go for the most desperate looking one and then make her his girlfriend, but what thoes who think that don't realise is; that yes the guy is more likely to 'come on' to you if you look like you want it too but then you will just be used as a booty call for his lonely situations and in the end, left heartbroken when another female attracts his attention. You should never have to change yourself for a guy. Guys who want long term relationships want to be with a female that will be attractive to them and not have to worry about all his mates constantly hitting on her because she flaunts it. Yes you can be pretty and confident- everyone should be, but if every male you meet sees you drunk, half naked and out of it, you can be pretty deffinate that the idea of any more than one nighters and non-exclusivity is not in his mind.

The main principles of romance is this. Girls, you should be both yourself and confident, you are females and with that comes and air of class, mystery and elegance that simply the other sex does not have. You do not have to chase men, in fact thats the complete opposite to romance. If a man is attracted to you he will do the leg work: If he sees you when you feel ugly it won't matter to him, he will take you out and pay for your meal, he will ask you out (never, ever, ever ask a man out), he will be kind when you need him too, know what to say to make you smile, be respectful firstly of you and secondly of your family and will always put you first. Basically if you have watched any good chick flick, pick the guy, add in some flaws for good mesure and never compromise what you want from him. Also in romance you have to be classy, be polite, look amazing (dresses are always good) and make him see the real you, it's ok to let him in occasionally. I am not saying every man is prince charming, infact he sounds too perfect. Guys have flaws but thats to be expected, you just have to find the personality that fits yours, never give up on finding the one, he is out there and you will know it when you find it.

Guys, lets get one thing straight, females are not to be disrespected. Sexism stopped a long time ago and really you should know not to make women inferior. Even in the days of Guys and Dolls, men could be charming and romantic. Everytime you say something against women, you disrespect your mother, grandmother, aunt, sister, do I need to go on? Some men I have to commend, there are quiet a few out there who would never say anything of the sort and I really wish that you find the woman for you because you deserve them. The whole 'Bros before Hoes' concept is gross. Men, all women want is to be found amazing and to be truely in love. Like I said before, we don't really want a prince but we do want to be cared for and life is all about what you put in, you get out. Treating us how you want to be treated will work out for you, as life of casual relationships will leave you bitter and alone. Just turn up looking your best, smile, be you and let chemistry do the rest. Nothing like clean clothes and a good persona, after all, girls like men, just want to have fun.

Culture has changed and less relationships are going the distance and I really hope by writing this I can maybe make one relationship last more than a few months. Whatever sex you are, whatever country, town, city etc, you live in, just remember in a relationship it needs two lovely people and a helping of chemistry. Never pretend to be something you're not, the person you are is good enough to let nature find you a match, and finally be cool, don't force a relationship out of somthing it's not going to be, it will take a few trips and stumbles before you find someone but trust me you will.

Best Wishes,

Amber xx

First Post: Hey

Hello World!

This blog was an idea created after I spent half an hour giving a close companion relationship advice and they suggested I write it all down in a blog. This is actually my second blog. My first is a fashion blog (see link) http://diaryofalondonteenagefashionista.blogspot.com/ I love writing and so I decided to take them up on the idea and here I am.

Basically, for a long long time friends have been coming to me for advice on all aspects of life. I am a teenager and have been recommended for an agony aunt in my school paper (until it shut down) and I am usually who people come to about any problems they may have, relationship or otherwise. Now I am very bad at taking my own advice but most of the time it works out for other people.

I am all about respecting yourself first an foremost, nobody will ever take a relationship further with you if you seem like you can't even respect yourself. I truely believe in the fact that "Before you love others, you must learn to love yourself" Now I am not sure who came up with that but along time ago it came to me and I really agree with it. It's one of my life motto's I am glad to share with you all (there will be many more trust me)

The worst thing I hear is people saying 'I'm playing the game' Well mate, to be blunt, that's obvious and trust me the only relationships you will get with that attitude will end badly. Love is a game but you don't 'play it' I would say it's more like a long-haul flight. You are either keen on getting to the destination or you should just jump off now and save yourself the jet-lag and the baggage fees.

Now I am also up for talking about life. Now life really is a game. I am huge believer in fate but it always needs a helping hand. My first ever bit of philosophy was "mummy, life is like a pushchair" I was in my pram and I made a hell of a lot of sense. Think about it; life carries you through, sometimes it collapses and you have to build it back up, sometimes you take the break off and it rushes away. Now with life you only have so much control. It's all about making choices and I am one of the most indecisive people I know and I'm still surviving!

So this is the chance for me to talk about whatever it is you need me too. If you comment a direct idea you want me to address I will answer as best as I can and as soon as I can. If not check back as I am soon to be writing another post.

Best wishes,
Amber