Dear those who used to bully me,

Dear my old bullies, 

You didn't break me. Not even close. 

I spent years trying to fight you back, change myself and just disappear. But I should have just stayed true to myself because I am truly an awesome person and you nearly made me forget that. 

I wish I could go back in time and tell you all to F*** Off! And then do my best to just ignore you. But I was too fragile back then and I couldn't find the strength too. Or when I did you just laughed and I felt like crumbling. 

I am a strong, outspoken lady. And you should have respected that. But you were jealous I guess and I can't fix that. I can't change your inherent need to make people feel weak so you feel less so yourself. I wish you hadn't just targeted people who refused to be sheep with you all.

Some day I hope you will all realise and change, but I am glad you are no longer in my life so I really don't care either way. 

I am myself and I spent too much of my younger years not being true to me, but I am now who I should be and I am annoyed it took me as long as it did. It's better late than never though.

If you are being bullied, I know it is so hard and I am really sorry that you are experiencing what you are. This may or may not help to know that you are probably not alone but, whatever you do, stay true to yourself, the bullies want to make you feel powerless and that way they win. 

If you are strong enough then stand up for yourself, but I know that is not the easiest thing to do. Also tell someone, your school may not be able to permanently fix the issue but if you can find a way to fix it they should be willing to help. And you will always find someone who cares, there are even good places online that you can go to to look for advice that are anonymous. 

It will also end. Not as soon as you want in some cases, but you are not stuck in one place forever and it won't always be like this. I went through a bad two years but it did end, and little by little I put myself back together like a lego model. 

Looking back on that time I don't really think I could have changed anything, I wish it hadn't affected me so but it made me stronger today which I am thankful for now, as life is really hard sometimes, and the strength that got me through the bad years has served me well since.

Taking this back to where I started;

To the Bullies of the World, stop it. 

No seriously stop it. 

If you have issues that you want to work out, taking it out on others will only make you feel guilty, it won't solve them for you.

You need to find the confidence to be different, stand up for the kid that is being picked on for once! You can make a change for good; don't be sexist, homophobic, racist or just shitty. Be nice, kind and caring. 

Little by little the world gets better, but it won't if no one does anything. 

Your sincerely,

Amber x

On the eve of St Valentine's....

If you haven't got a date for tomorrow, don't despair. 

Tomorrow is about more than who you date, it is about LOVE, and you can love more than one person. I love my family, my friends and my cat, that love is what defines me, not my relationship status. 

You are never really alone, apart from inside your own head I guess, but there is always someone who loves you, they may just not bombard you with a dozen red roses on one day of the year. 

Tomorrow for me is a day where I celebrate LOVE. That crazy four letter word that will be plastered everywhere and then dispersed into the ether. 

Love is amazing, it keeps us alive. 

I also don't buy into the idea you can be too young to be in love. I have loved a lot; I love my family and I have loved people when they had no idea, and that has spanned 18 years. 

I have loved my mum since I came into the world, and I wasn't too young for love then. 

So if you are young (and you can feel young at any age too) or are experiencing a new love and someone tells you that you aren't in love when you feel like you are; don't listen to them, they don't understand how you feel most likely, but the thing about love is it's unique to the beholder, we all feel it in different ways, so that doesn't mean it isn't real. 

Love is great, and we as humanity should learn to love each other, that way the world would be a better place. 

So for tomorrow, love-birds be merry, treasure your loved ones and celebrate that wonderful thing of falling in love. Cupid send out your arrows and Aphrodite, I call on you to help those that feel lonely to remember they are loved above all, because they still have more love to give. 

Best wishes my loving friends,

Amber xx♥

Taking leaps and saying yes!

Sometimes in life you have to risk things, somethings you just can't plan for, and sometimes the best answer to shall I do this is YES! 

Hey everyone, 

So I am having a really nice time at the moment and it is because I just keep saying yes (within reason) when opportunities arrive. 

I am a pretty big worrier but I always manage to land on my feet (eventually) so I really ought to stop worrying as much and take more risks. To be honest, most of the awesome stuff that I have been up to recently is down to me just taking that inital scary leap and it all working out ok in the end. 

It is therefore I recommendation of this blog to say yes more often and worry less, if you want good stuff to happen you have to stick your neck out at least some of the way. Nothing happens to people who just sit and wait for life to start happening, you have to grab opportunities with both hands.

Remember however that nothing in life is easy, and nothing is guaranteed. Leaps of faith are that because there is always some element of the unknown, and life can and will creep up on you to put a spanner in the works.

And if it does, take it from someone who has survived a fair few myself, don't worry, because opportunities you are meant to have work out, while ones that don't point you towards your real self. 

I always thought I would go to Cambridge and study science and become the worlds best scientific researcher, but as the door was closed when that moment came, instead I unlocked the human rights driven, legal mind from within me, and now, miles from Cambridge, I am more true to myself than I would be if it had worked out as I had thought. And I am 100% sure I am happier now than I would of been too. 

So reach for the stars when you can, and then you'll always sparkle. 

Hope you are all well,

Love Amber xx♥️

Annual Happiness Tips 2015... Not New Years Resolutions!

Hi all, Happy New Year!

I've been doing some decorating on my fashion blog and so I wanted to launch the new year with a simultaneous post on both blogs at the same time, especially as this post bridges both topics well.

I haven't forgotten this blog however, but with this being my more personal musings I have been posting on here less often in the past year as it has been quite an emotional ride. I will be more active on here this year as I have a better hold of myself now than I did before.

Anyway to the root of this post which is about my Annual Happiness Tips 2015.

My big problem, and I think most people's problem, with New Years Resolutions (NYRS from now on in this post) is that everyone tries to make them, but tends to break them within the year, some don't even see out January.

Resolution in the Oxford English Dictionary is "A firm decision to do or not to do something", so by making and then breaking a resolution, you nullify the term in its entirety. Most people seem to make NYRS that are frankly untenable in their daily lives and then curse the tradition when they break/fail to meet their decisions made on January 1st. I always find myself saying I will never eat chocolate again, then diving into the leftover box of Celebrations; or that I will blog three times a week and then you don't hear from me for months. It is as if the tradition has become a joke in modern day life, so enter my Annual Happiness Tips.

Annual Happiness Tips are my version of NYRS as they are simple suggestions that I want to make every year to make myself happier, but and most importantly of all, they are only tips, they can be ignored, broken, interpreted etc. anyway I like. So no more pressure, hassle or guilt, basically my idea of perfection.

This year I have made four tips to enhance my life in 2015 and I have written these in my journal and will share them with you all now:

1. Be healthy but don't make myself crazy with worrying or feeling guilty when I am simply enjoying my life!
2. Be happy for what I have in life and remember that everyday (but at the same time it is ok to be sad every now and again - just not more often than I am happy). 
3. Be more creative more often; blog, do more photography, spend more time colouring and do more Lego building! 
4. Do something amazing every month; from seeing friends to travelling or just having an excellent experience at home with my family. 

If you hate making NYRS like I do, I hope that Annual Happiness Tips will make life better and take the pressure off at this time of the year,

Happy 2015 everyone, I hope you had a lovely festive season and are looking forward to a brilliant new year!

Lots of luv,

Amber xx♥

The Constant Balancing Act...

Hey all,

I've discussed on this blog before my belief in the universal constant balancing act; some call it ying and yang. (I think me being a child of hippies maybe sinking in lol!) But I didn't really understand its power until recently.

I thought that big chunks of bad are balanced by an equal amount of good, but then I realised that everything has its own opposite. What may seem to be really bad at the time, may produce the best times of your life. There are many clichés which many of us are too quick to dismiss, but they are so true! Seriously, my recent job rejection has turned into the opportunity for me to spend more time on things that I am passionate about. It's that one door closes one... I have laughed at that in the moments of despair, but I don't think I am going to do that anymore.

From now on I want to focus on the positives. It is so much easier to look at the negatives when you feel rejected or dejected, but it is just not healthy. It is so much better to start looking for the good in the opportunities life brings you.

A side note, the universal balancing act is sometimes very much like the old metallic scales in my experience. It is not; a bad things has happened BAM good thing, it can be though! However, sometimes you get a build up of credit before the universe gives you back what you are owed. It can take years. It helps if you treat life with kindness and care, I think karma gives you the goodness back for that too.

I hope this post is helpful to you guys who are finding yourself in a period of bad times, please remember to look for the good as trust me it is in there. You will find it in your friends and family if nothing else, and I am always here too!

As always lots of luv,
Amber xx♥

Don't let life defeat you...

When it is all getting too tough,

When it tries to break you up,

Stand tall and be proud,

Aim your dreams higher than the clouds. 

They can't stop you,

If you stay strong,

You have to persevere,

You will still do stuff wrong. 

It's not something that should cause your demise,

You can weather any tide,

It may just take some time,

But you will walk in the sunshine.

Hope you are well guys, I'm here if you need me.

Luv,

Amber xx♥️

Music is a wonderful thing...

Hi all,

So a few days ago I was busting out a bit of Whitney Houston whilst making my parents a frankly delicious dinner, and I realised I have a really weird music taste, so I thought I would write a bit about it in this blog. Disclaimer - this is the highlights, I cannot write about it all unless I was writing a novel, I may do a part two at some point.

My music taste cannot be put into a category, I love a wide range of music and yet there is still some things that really piss me off (including but not exclusive to club music where they play the first line of an epic song - then drop the bass and stop the lyrics - angry amber lol).

Lets begin with the ladies: Taylor Swift seems to write my romantic life in song, I am really hoping it picks up as some of the songs are too realistic to my life its surreal. Whitney listening to her today was awesome, her range is just wow and the fact she sounds just as great in a remix as she does on the base track is frankly amazing - check out a remix of I Will Always Love You if you are a fan. Britney Spears you are a goddess, although I haven't loved her music as much of late and her early stuff will always be my favourite...Hit Me Baby One More Time <3. Gaga, the Queen, The Fame Monster, BTW, Artpop, need I go on, her voice is incredible and man can she write a catchy dance track just as epic as a ballad. I need to stop this at some point but I couldn't leave out Amy Winehouse as I have never listened to a more incredible album than Back to Black, I don't think anyone will ever be able to match her raw emotion and unbelievable talent, I am always sad that the world will not hear another album from her, she is sorely missed.

From ladies to lads I guess: I will start with the legend that is Jeff Buckley, man thank you for recording the hauntingly beautiful Hallelujah and the perfect The Last Goodbye, two songs that will never leave me. Bruno Mars, not only are you the best to see live, but all of your albums are fab, and please keep writing catchy songs because things like Natalie and Treasure are what make me smile. John Legend, All of Me is one of my favourite songs ever, enough said. Bryan Adams, Summer of '69 is a feel-good tune that even though I wasn't born then makes me wish I was :) also When You're Gone is one of the coolest songs ever written and I am glad you got sporty spice to sing on it. Ed Sheeran, + & x = some of the best pop songs ever written, Thinking Out Loud is also an incredibly moving song which I hugely love. Enrique, sing Hero to me in Spanish anytime... need I say more? Finally Justin Timberlake, have you ever written a bad song? I cannot pick an album I love the most out of Senorita and What Goes Around/Comes Around - they are both musically genius.

Bands wise there is a huuuge list, Maroon 5 and The Script are both beyond epic, I need their new albums in my life. The Black Crowes are by far the most chilled rock band I have ever seen play (carpet anyone? lol) Lawson, I love your first album, please can I have a new one soon and not your old one repackaged. I love Backstreet Boys, Five and N'SYNC, yes I have an appreciation for 90's boy bands - sorry, not sorry. The Killers, Mr. Brightside = best rock out song ever written. The Goo Goo Dolls, Iris is one of those songs music will forever be grateful for. Nickelback, I still love you, you remind me of a lot (sorry for the pun). The Darkness and the Jonas Brothers, thank you for being my first two concerts (in that order)  and finally to The Stereophonics, well when a guy sung Dakota on holiday I was the happiest girl alive, it's the perfect summer tune. 

Wow that was a lot,

I hope you all see why I said it was a long list, that's not even all of it,

Anyway speak soon,
Lots of love,
Amber xx♥