A good way to argue...

Hey guys,

Throughout my life, like many of yours I am sure, I have been faced with confrontation and dealt with it in a variety of terrible ways. But more recently, aided I think by my desire to be a barrister, I crafted my very own art of arguing, which to this day, works. 

A disclaimer before I start; confrontation comes in many forms. Sometimes someone will confront you with hurtful words and it will cause anger and tears, for moments that really break your heart, this method didn't even work for me. However in moments of arguement, when someone is just down right out of line; this method is kind of perfect. 

So basically people who are down-right wrong and lying, know full well they are, and they'll love to try to convince you they're not. But be firm and stick your ground, don't let anyone bully they're ideas past you just because they rock the foundations. 

Next, don't show anger. They'll love to know they got under your skin and will manipulate the situation from then. My best friend summed this up the best; "Lower your voice, strengthen your argument". Not only will it irritate the other person that you are not biting the carrot they are dangling in front of you but also it allows you to remain calm and focused, while they rage on. 

If all else fails, let them rant and don't say a single word. Eventually they'll realise that you haven't been talking and aren't fighting back and think they've won. Hopefully that will allow a momentary silence for you to step in. At this point you can let them know you've heard all the rediculous s*#% they managed to string together AND now it's your turn. 

Hopefully if you haven't tuned completely out of their rant, you will of picked up a few key points that you can calmly retort (sorry debating changes you), and with a few quick quips their argument is destroyed and they have to eat their words. 

Now like the disclaimer I said above, sometimes this may not be 100% effective, but I find it keeps me calmer in situations usually driven out of control. The key here is to stay calm, keep your tone firm and be unwavering but not unopen to the idea the whole thing may end without resolution. 

I hope this can help you guys in the future, 

[UPDATE] should be posting more regularly but I want to write based on how I feel and about subjects that feel right to me, so I can't promise a particular schedule. 

Luv,

Amber xx♥️

"There is a line between your past and your future"

That line was from Rachael Berry in Glee. But how true is that? The line is not necessarily physical, although some decide to change their appearance and cast aside one persona to become another - take Norma Jeane and Marilyn Monroe for a prime example - some however are more subtle lines, the last exchange of words, the change in lifestyle or the moment when you decide that you are no longer going to feel that way and that you deserve to let the new in.

I have been trying to draw my own lines, from the me that was bullied; from the me that was broken hearted on more than one occasion and from the me that was well younger than I am now. But the thing about lines are that once you cross them, there is no going back. And I don't really think you should live like that. 

This doesn't mean that you should live your life eternally stuck in a place that is frankly self destructive, but I think sometimes you need to own who you are and realise that something good will always come from anything bad, you just need to learn from it. 

I'm currently learning a lot more than I did about Marilyn - I kind of think she's becoming one of my idols - but she apparently once said, "Good things fall apart, so better things can fall together" and I think she was right. So perhaps a better way than drawing lines is to think of yourself remodelled, Amber 3.0 if you like, as after it all you aren't broken, you are just a different shape than before. 

So if you were once part of a pair, or been a bit dented along the way, remember that although you feel broken you aren't, you are just a bit different now. But most importantly you've taken on what happened and you own it, you aren't holding your own pity party and you're believing that you are more fabulous than before! 

But if you are out there feeling low, talk to someone; really anyone you trust. You have to remember you are not alone and I didn't realise until I looked on the internet how un-alone I was, there is (unfortunately) always someone who sympathises and the adivce they get given may help you too, you never know until you look. 

As always I hope you all are well, but if you want some advice comment below and I will do my best to help, 

Luv,

Amber xx♥️

2 Days Till Aduthood; A Post Series - Post Four: Quotes

Hey again,

I have a whiteboard at the end of my bed which hasn't been white for a while, because it contains my favourite quotes. I have also been collecting some on my Goodreads page where it is really easy to collect them and store them in a list. N.B. None of these are lyrics, I feel I should do a separate post for them.

Some of these are so inspirational, and are able to lift me from a bad mood, or brighten a sunny day.

I am going to post my top ten below, but in truth I have more than that and this could go on for ages, (if you want to see more search for me on Goodreads - Ambsg) so here is my top ten:

1. "I don't care what you think about me, I don't think about you at all." - Coco Chanel
2. "I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." - Marilyn Monroe
3. "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." - Bernard M. Baruch
4. "You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching, Love like you'll never be hurt, Sing like there's nobody listening, And live like it's heaven on Earth." - William W. Purkey
5. "I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night." - Sarah Williams
6. "Be the change that you wish to see in the world." - Mahatma Gandhi
7. "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." - Robert Frost
8. "Friendship is born at that moment when one man says to another: "What! You too? I thought that no one but myself..." - C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves
9. "Creativity is intelligence having fun." - Albert Einstein
10. "You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough" - Mae West

Anyway I hope you enjoyed these,

All the best,
Luv,
Amber xx♥

3 Days Till Adulthood; A Post Series - Post Three: Amnesty International

Dear all,

In the first post of this series, I spoke of one of my passions which I said I would talk about later, that passion is for the law, specifically within the realms of human rights and the extension of that is my passion for the charity Amnesty International. Over the past two years I have been running my schools Amnesty International group, furthering that to my participation in the AI UK Youth Advisory Group for the past year.

I have always been a supporter of Amnesty's work, but it was only when a member of their organisation came and spoke to us at school, that I realised I wanted to help make a change in the world. In the past I think I mentioned of my desire to study law, and the fact that I love public speaking and that I am often very passionate about causes I believe in.

The combination of all of my passions has lead me to believe I am truly able to make a difference and help defend the human rights of the world's people, even if it is just by sending a letter or signing my name on a petition. The smallest things really are worth it when you hear you are able to lift the spirits of someone in pain, all the way to the time you hear that the international spotlight has saved a life and you were part of that.

My future hope is to carry on my work for Amnesty in as many ways that I can. I do hope that I can be of use to them as an organisation and continue to draw attention to human rights abuses that go often unnoticed around the world, and to be able to defend those who suffer unjustly, in the hope of them obtaining justice in the end.

I wish you all to find something you are passionate about, and that it guides you to become to be the person you wish to be.

All the best,

Amber xx♥

Links:
Amnesty International UK
Amnesty International

4 Days Till Adulthood; A Post Series - Post Two: Small Ways To Happiness

Hey all,

Ok it is getting closer. I can't believe how real it all is.

In today's post I wanted to share some personal stuff about me that makes me really happy. I was going to do it in a Q&A form but I prefer a stream of writing so here it is:

1. I love hugs from my mum, especially before I go to bed. We are so close that it is just the best thing ever. I can't really say much else, but I love you mummy.
2. I also love my best friend's accents. When she does them I do what is know as my MJ laugh as I make a "hehe" noise replicating the famous Michael Jackson noise. They are currently banned in public places as I end up sometimes, let's be honest - more often than not, crying in laughter.
3. I love dancing and singing (along with the original track to help with my pitching) to some epic songs. Currently my two faves are; Ordinary People sung by Asher Brook from the 2012 version of Fame, I just love the lyrics and it is such a powerful song of just being an ordinary person in love with someone else and battling through the bad because the love for the other person is bigger than anything else. It is also sung by a guy which really helps with my low voice. In stark contrast, I also am a closet rapper and will quite happily sing all of the words to It Wasn't Me by Shaggy. I know, this song is about cheating which I abhor, but it's just so damn catchy and I love the song. (I think perhaps I am two different people) 
4. It makes me very happy that I can put my hair in a ponytail without looking in a mirror, successfully, 95% of the time. I barely ever put it up because I prefer wearing it down, but should I be cleaning or blogging as I am now, it is a very useful skill.
5. Finally, I love TV and film. I love romantic comedies. I cry when the couple reconciles after some big argument, I love that moment when they realise how much they love each other. However, I love really rubbish TV which is essentially white noise set to pictures. My heart does belong to shows like Game of Thrones, The Tudors, The White Queen, anything historical. I am gutted I don't have any current new series to watch so am currently re-watching The Tudors, it's just epic - she says reaching for Netflix ☺.

So that is a bit more about what makes me happy, if I can do it all in one day then that's pretty cool, otherwise doing one of them a day is enough to make me feel happy, along with seeing my cat's smiling happy face which is a constant.

Talking of my kitten, this is a recent Instagram of my cat when she was looking very cute, this is why she is my constant source of happiness:

 



Lots of luv,

Amber xx♥

5 Days Till Adulthood; A Post Series - Post One: Support

Hey all,

I am 5 days away from 18. Wow.  That is such a crazy thing to write down. I want to make this a post series in which I will write a post every day until midnight on the day I turn 18.

What can I say as a nearly adult. This past year I have grown more than I have in a long time, I am learning more about who I am as a person and what I like and don't like. Also I have learnt more about what I am truly passionate about but more to come on that soon.

Something I learnt only recently is that I really dislike being alone, and it is more than the fact I am recently single, I just really hate being by myself. I always knew I was good at making friends, but saying goodbye to friends I don't know when I will see again really made me realise how important they are to me. I also caught up with a friend who went to uni abroad and our chance meeting (Hi Laura!) made me really miss her company that I was so used to having around before she left. My saving grace however is that I am actually very rarely by myself, I always have my baby kitten to cuddle and the best parents I could ask for, which are always there if  I want to have a laugh and hang out - we really are the tightest of family units, friends as well as family. I always have the greatest friends in the world whose praises I can't sing high enough. I always have them at the end of the phone to call or text whenever I need a good laugh or a rant, it is the best thing to know that I am supported like that. I feel very lucky to have that network I know that some don't have.

So although I will soon be an adult, I am not a bird flying from the nest solo, I have the best support network I could ask for, so whatever happens I am not afraid, because, thankfully, I am never alone.

I hope that you all are not feeling alone, please understand if you are then reach out to someone and find some common ground with others. There are nearly 7 billion people on this planet and you will find someone with interests similar to you. If you would like me to write a post on friendships then leave me a comment on any of my social media or in the comments below.

See you all tomorrow,

Lots of Luv,

Amber xx♥

My Life Re-invented

Hello everyone,

So a period of my life has ended, I have done all of my a-level exams and am now free to pursue...what ever I want to really. It is really strange to have all of this free time and my own will is my own controller, its freedom at the highest level. I really am happy now, and it's a feeling I hope will last for a long time.

After a stressful period, probably the most testing six months of my life, I feel somewhat unburdened now. Things that have sort to sadden me are now simple memories which will always have there mark but they are more bruises than open-gaping wounds. I am a more rounded person now, I have learnt many a lesson and am opening a new chapter of my life, where the pages are all blank, waiting to make their own history.

I am also on the brink of becoming an adult, well at least a young one, as I am not far from my eighteenth birthday, which is just another key moment awaiting me, I cannot wait, I am really excited to see what this new year brings for me.

I guess for me my new year starts on my birthday, so although I know 2014 started in January, this new era starts later than that for me.

I am going to be more pro-active on all of my blogs, twitter etc. I also hope to have a YouTube channel soon so I will let you know when that gets going.

For now, it's a book then bed,

Night all, hope you are all ok,

Luv,

Amber xx♥

Playing the cards life deals you...

Hello everyone, (yes I am still alive!)

I was going to write a post about heartbreak sooner but I never really feel like I am doing it justice. Basically I was recently in a relationship with someone who I really loved but now we have ended. My love is still there and the memories chase me around, making the grieving period a lot more painful. 

And however much people tell me to forget and move on, I'm struggling. This wasn't a choice I made, I can't process it and instead I have to clean up the aftermath; my broken heart which is in pieces.

One of my favourite sayings (yet I have no idea who said it) is "you have to play the cards your dealt in life". I really love card games (I have an awesome poker face) so when it comes to life I really understand this idea. 

Although eager mathematicians claim that nothing is truly random in card games - life really is. This situation is just the latest one I have been dealt, and it's a pile of crap, but I have two options: fold and cave under the weight of the negative emotions I have (the ones that lead you to try and win your ex back, while just getting your heart broken further) or, you put on your poker face and try to be strong and carry on for the sake of your sanity - you may feel like falling apart but if you hold it together when you can, you are more likely to feel together and eventually, I hope, feel better. 

I want to assure any of you that:

1. If you are also heartbroken that one you are not alone, I'm here and there are others too unfortunately.

2. When you get those days when you feel really low, let it out because you need to let the emotions happen, it's a bit of a roller coaster in the first few months as I'm finding out.

3. You will find love again, I'm sure of it, if you did love then you will again I promise.

This motto however also applies to other things like exams, job interviews, uni/college applications, family issues, everything really. You just have to face whatever you get dealt next but know that you can face it no matter what and reap the rewards of life. Remember too, well at least in my opinion, everything happens for a reason and it teaches you something and you have to carry that with you to improve your life, after all you learnt it because you needed to. 

So deal me another hand please dealer, and let me hedge my bets on that,

All the best and lots of love guys,

Amber xx♥️