A poem about Love...

Dear Readers,

I haven't written poetry for about three years and last night I was inspired to write again.

This is a poem about love;

Why am I up at this time of night?
Turned off the day, switched off the light,
Am staring at this big bright moon,
Whose glow is shining through the gloom.

My prince as ever waits for me,
In wind or rain, with chivalry,
The stars that twinkle up above,
All align and point to love.

I am yet to meet him though,
The tide that takes him to and fro,
One day when the time is right,
He'll stand and prepare to make this fight.

Love is a battlefield,
So they say,
A war can seem,
Like the only way.

So I will watch upon these shores,
To welcome him through open doors,
He will launch a thousand ships for me,
Some may call it an army.

But on this night,
Up above,
 The stars align,
And point to love.
 

Hope you like it,

 

Love,

 

Amber xx♥

What makes the best love...

Dear readers,

This blog has been very much neglected by me so sorry but I am back!

Love is a constant in our world, like the permittivity of free space or the speed of light. Everyone is out there looking for it and for a while it will elude you and most people give up on it (or look in the wrong places!!) I don't think anyone has found the perfect equation for it but I am sure there are a few crucial basics:

1. You must always feel good with the other person because you will probably end up telling them some of your most personal feelings and if you don't feel like you can trust them, trust yourself and run a mile!
2. You should think about the other person a reasonable chunk of the day, if you forget about them after five minutes of talking to them then maybe you aren't that keen after all.
3. You have to have stuff in common to talk about when the silence falls, it always happens. You will be together and that moment will come and if it is left silent, maybe you have run out of things to say, take the hint.
4. Don't over analyse everything that happens between the two of you, if love is coming, it will take hold as and when the time is right. Although if there is a promise of a call, a date etc. and that doesn't become apparent, then the analysis is they are not into you.
5. Enjoy the chase. Flirting, texting, going out on a date all happens in stages. Love will not fall into your lap with a marriage proposal and the keys to your family home. Patience is under rated but it is so important to stick with it, if its right it will come into being.
6. Arguing is healthy but not all the time. Everyone has bad days and gets into a crap mood as is a complete ass, its natural, but you need to both be able to navigate these by being understanding of each other, not throwing in the towel after the first. However, if this happens everyday or about the most petty things, its not healthy and get the hell out before you go insane.  
7. Finally, looks are not everything, don't write off the other person just for a little thing, attraction usually happens with people who are opposites on the surface but are the same underneath. The only way you will ever know the truth is to get to know them, see the real them and then decide. It is a minefield and there is a risk of getting burned but its all part of finding the right fit for you, like trying on shoes or buying a new house, it will, just one day, be right.

In summary the best love is the imperfect yet right love that can be very elusive but you only have to look at people around you and then you will see the way they look into their lovers eyes or hold their hand and you see that love ties them together.

I will leave you with a quote from Because I Said So which is a film where the girl has trouble finding love and her mum tries to "help" and at the end Johnny (who is perfect for her) says:

"Even before I met you I had an instinct about you. Once I saw you were a woman with profound static cling I wanted to be that force around you...I love that when I breathe you in you smell like cake batter. And I love that you have this insane way of talking in circles that makes perfect sense.... I love your eyes. I even love... your mother."

 

Good luck finding love my dear readers,

 

Amber xx

Reality...

Hey,

Basically this post is very honest and I hope some people will get something out of this about relationships and the messy bits in-between like and love.

More and more I talk to girls who are having trouble with the guys in their lives while my guy friends are having their cake and eating it with no love lost against them. Also girls we are not perfect, sometimes I weep thinking about how the guys are following what they read off of the girls signals sent out into the universe. It's become such an issue that I had to put something into words.

Firstly, the whole idea of a relationship in the traditional sense seems to have vanished into the abyss along with respect for each other and general classiness.

Personally I don't see the appeal of being a serial player and always be cautious of getting entangled with one for two main reasons: firstly because if the signs aren't written in neon above their heads you could end up as a other woman/man in a relationship with them (don't expect to told be told upfront about the deal either) and secondly its not great to be the shield for people to hide their dirty laundry behind - e.g. "I was with them and our friends all night baby, I wasn't cheating on you don't worry" (however, non judgemental friendship is fine because hey you love your friends no matter what and you can't make a leopard change its spots).

Also, since when did having nothing to talk about ever be a good grounding for anything even slightly relationshippy. For me the thought of even just dating someone who I can't hold more than a five minute conversation with is mind boggling let alone going further than that! It's as if we have gone backwards, not to the era of courtship and relationships that are based on romance, but to the lets just procreate as that is apparently all we are good for! (especially the youth but that's for another blog). Just be careful readers please, please - don't just be with someone to say you are in a relationship even though you have nothing in common or do stuff with people you don't know, it's not just abusing your heart and body, it's wasting it, as you may not be prepared when the right person comes along.

So I guess the main message is pick what you want in your partner and don't settle for less, if you want thrills and no attachment fine but be honest with all involved, and if you want someone to watch your fave team with you, take you to your favourite gallery or simple sit with you while you look at the stars, go for it, if it means your single for a few years who cares, it's you happiness and well being at stake.

N.B. today I am literally spouting cringy-at-times romantic stuff - that last bit was borderline.

Luv,

Amber xx♥

Modern Fairy Tales

Hey,

I think I got it wrong when I wrote about fairytales in the past.

I recently watched Pretty Woman and it taught me that life is not like fairy stories, what can start out as perfect planning can twist and turn until you end up falling in love with Richard Gere and have him buying you Cartier diamonds. In the film Julia Roberts character starts as a call girl wearing a cut out dress and a wig and, like a butterfly, transforms into this goddess with red curls and sophistication in spades. But there are moments of the film as the two fall in love that are very realistic despite the chick flick visage.

Firstly, he insults her and kinda acts like a jerk. We can all relate to the moment when she can barley look him in the eye. But like all good fights, the making up is worth making her stay with him because she knows that he is not really like that. Secondly, when she realises she doesn't fit in she attempts to learn but in reality the thing that makes her stand out is the reason he loves her, whether it's her unruly nature or her infectious laugh, and its important to learn not to hide the things that make you you, especially on dates. Finally, the moment where he wakes up and smells the coffee and runs into her arms and she says that the princess in the fairy tales saved the knight right back after he saves her, sounds like something we should all listen to because modern romance is not like the 1950's although that is not always a good thing.

Think about it, in the film, Julia's character is very forward and very strong. She always takes charge of the situation and it allows her to at least start the ball rolling on her quest for love. I therefore believe now that although men should always show their keenness by how much they pursue a relationship with you, there is an opportunity for women to take control and look for potential wherever they are because with potential something may become more than that and surprise you, its not like every man in your life is a potential match but they could steer you in the right direction.

I hope this gives you a bit of confidence maybe to take control of your love life.


Luv,

Amber xx

Romance Hides, Its a simple matter of finding it.

Hey guys,

So I've been a bit unwell recently so have been catching up on all the chick flick television and movies that made me fall in love with romance in the first place and so despite my absence I am back.

This is actually a very easy one for me to write now that I am maturing a bit, or growing into my ears as my mum calls it.

So basically many people write in lonely hearts columns and look on the internet for love thinking that is some rarity that only the lucky find, but I am a big believer that all it takes is a bit of confidence and Cupid's arrows are metaphorically drawn to you. Some people are missing a rather large trick that I will let you all in to now. Socialising. We live our lives at work or on the internet and life has become rather desensitized and that kills romance. Long gone are the days of it being cool to join a club - most people join as couples if they do and humanity expects love to move on to the web as we have. But as I have said before, the key to love is chemistry (maybe biology for good measure) and without organic chemistry of other humans love stands at poor odds of success.

My tip for anyone is to engage in conversation with the person who you see everyday in the office but have never spoken to. Join clubs and talk, meet as many new people as you can. Somewhere amongst the many people who may pass you by, there may be a firm friend, or a new love. It's essentially primary school playground theorem; when you were younger in the playground, you would see a new person and chat and before long you would be friends. That's how I met Lily and over time we have become the best of friends - she is like a sister I never had. It's the same with joining a club or working in an office, you will only make friends if you talk, don't think just adding them on Facebook is enough, with the occasional poke as a sign of friendship.

To put it plainly, Romeo and Juliet were of rival households and would of never met if Romeo hadn't snuck into the the party and, blinded by her beauty, spoke to her. The same for Aphrodite and her many human lovers, she was a goddess and it was definitely hard to win her over but most wouldn't just bump into her in the street.

So romance is hiding in plain sight, now go hunt it down, be bold, have nothing to fear.

All it takes is a hello to the right person.

Luv, Amber xx♥

Don't ever let your light fade...

Hey guys,

Life is really quiet strange sometimes. I remember starting secondary school and thinking what the hell am I going to do here? Now I am sitting with that part of my life closely finishing and I am looking back and thinking did I make an impact? Gandhi once said "Everything you do in life is insignificant, but it's important you do it" and every time I have to ask myself why? I remember it and think it's what I have to do.  I am an enigma in a world full of people trying to find a purpose for their lives because I know I have a purpose, I just need it to find me. Every choice I have made was for a reason and I am not going to stop now. Just because I am ever more looking towards a path that I should follow is no reason for me to change. I have to choose the four subjects that will change my life and I have looked at Uni's and decided amongst the amass that is my future I can see myself in a few certain situations and I know the subjects I want to take to get myself there, its better to work backwards from the goal to the start than to run into a wall you wern't expecting. My mind may change and I have made room for that - being the sensible girl I am. It helps to roughly know yourself by now.

So Four subjects, Two years, 3 A2 Levels and 1 As, a potential end destination, all starts with the boxes I tick and the T's I cross.

Its surreal.

Amongst my many years however, I have always been a certain person, though slightly evolved. My personality is my light, and although in dark times it has been slightly dimmed, I have always tried to be true to myself, because if you can't do that then you can't be true to anyone else. And I urge all of you who reads this, whoever you are and whatever age, never let your light fade. Its the best part of you, it makes people want to be with you, it makes people love you, it makes people care. The world is a dark place but let yourself be the beacon that guides others out of it. Don't stand in someone else's shade because it's easier to let them shine. You can be brighter than the sun, or the stars, or the supernova's and that's supposed to be pretty bright according to current science!

Being true can seem like a minefield if you are trying to find yourself, trust me, but all you need is your heart, your light is shining from there. If you are struggling surround yourself with your friends lights and they will guide you because:

"Lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones, and I will try and fix you...."

Lots of love guys,

Amber xx

Everything falls into place.

Hey guys,

It's such a cliched phrase but it's the root of my year review. As you know I am a strong believer in universal balance but only until this year did I realise its true power.

This year has had major highlights, including my very first long haul flight which took me to India. I saw some amazing things and some very saddening things, it's one of those places where you see a bank next to a slum, but hey, that's irony for you. I did enjoy this trip, it was spiritually very eye-opening, you think Britain is multi-faith well in India you have Buddhists, Sikhs, Hindus and Muslims; all very passionate and strong willed, living in harmony and with very little dispute, which is unusual to most multi-faith countries if you believe what you read.

I also experienced my first holiday (well I don't really know what to call it) which showed me that most holiday glimmers fade with nostalgia when you get home. Shame really. I have, despite that, made some really good friends and plans to go back to Tolo when I am older.

I have been working very hard this year which is one of the reasons this blog has been neglected, GCSE's began in June and then the stress rolled in, which has been good to learn to handle, if at worst I feel I can cope better now I have been through it once.

As I mentioned in the last post I also lost my great-grandad this year and he was buried last Friday. I think watching a human die has to be the world's worst thing to experience, definitely made me a stronger person.

I guess that the best thing that has changed me this year is learning not to take anyone's bullshit any more, I have spent to long feeling weak and pathetic and something inside of me just said "Amber, what the hell are you doing?" and I realised that I wasn't going to let it get to me anymore. Now I am not playing the martyr card here and really don't want sympathy, I just now don't have the tolerance to take crap anymore. This year there was a massive argument between two of my closest friends and me and in the end I just realised it wasn't fair and spoke up, I lost one of my friends but now I'm after a drama free life and I deserve it.

So I am stronger, I've cried a bit and I have had one of the biggest years to change me in a long time, I know who my true friends are, who has my heart and trust, I love my parents more than anything in the world and I am starting to sort my head out into a vague idea for the future but as Harry says in the new film:

"Hermione! When have any of our plans ever worked? We plan, we get there, all hell breaks loose!"

Which is so true, the whole world sorts itself out in the end, Wars start, peace comes, Loose your job, get the job of your dreams, Broken heart, finding the person that should of been there all along etc...

The world in balance.

Love you guys,

Amber xx

the Taj Mahal in the distance, the symbol of symmetry and love. 2011