Thank you parents...reflecting on 19 years of life...

Dear Mum and Dad,

I have been alive for 19 years as of yesterday and I want to thank you for giving me the best 19 years I could ask for.

I haven't just been living for 19 years, I've grown, developed, formed into my very own person, went through trials of being young and now a young adult (an oxymoron I think) and will continue to be alive for as long as possible. 

I want to thank you for protecting me from harm, giving the space to grow and find myself and support me when I thought the world was against me. 

You are my constant rock and I love you and our fluff ball with all my heart. And when yesterday I was getting all the well wishes all I wanted to do was thank you for getting me here.

So thank you again - love you xxx

And so I made it to 19, wow, I wonder what the next year will bring. 

I am also pleased to announce that I have gone through 19 birthdays without bad weather! Which I think is a triumph even if a few were touch and go in the mornings! 

Happy birthday fellow July babies! Best wishes to you all! 

Speak soon guys,

Amber xx

"Have courage and be kind": Why Cinderella is more than a damsel in distress...

Hi all,

With live action fairy tales being announced one after another this year, it seems that Disney-mania has sparked all over again. The geniuses of story telling are always finding new ways to draw us into the fairy tale world that some of us never want to leave, from the animated movies of Cars and Finding Nemo, to the musical creations of Frozen and Tangled.
But the new live action Cinderella hit a nerve with some people who claim the story is more about how women are passive and quiet until they are saved by a man, and this is hardly a good idol for young girls. And it is to those thinkers that I want to write this blog, because for me Cinderella has always been my princess and these are the reasons why:  

1. She had to marry a man to make her life change, how old fashioned of her. Well, look at the time her story was written in. When Grimm and Anderson wrote their tales women were very much defied by their status below men. You had to marry to be free of your family or live a life alone. So yes she has to marry a prince but that doesn't make her have less worth, it just means she has to go a different way about it than we do now. Just because this is how she had to do it then doesn't make it a blueprint for life, it just shows that you should try find happiness and be free of upset and pain. 
2. But she just sticks around and gets badly treated, she seems to suggest this is an ok way of life? To that regard I say this; Honestly have you never done anything for someone you love that leaves you worse off than before? Cinderella makes a promise to her father and wanted to make her family work even though they were ungrateful and unkind. She is loyal in the face of adversity but when she reaches her breaking point she leaves. I think in that regard she is possibly the most human of all of the princesses, and shows that she is not an unbreakable saint, she has a limit and when they push her over it, she leaves.
3. And we all don't have fairy-godmothers who help us in our times of need? No we don't, but some people have faith which guides them, some have the stars and astrology, and some make decisions based on a flip of a coin; all Cinderella's fairy-godmother does is facilitate her decision to go to the ball (admittedly by using magic but that doesn't make it any less valid) and it teaches that having a little bit of belief in anything, even if you just believe you can do anything you want, it is both important and worthwhile to do so. 
4. So in this magical world where mice turn to men and glass slippers are comfy; we are supposed to believe that there is a message we can live by in this movie? Yes you are. The message is the thing that Cinderella herself lives by and that is "To have courage and be kind". You don't have to serve, marry or wish on anyone to be able to do that. And at the end of the day, if you can have courage to do scary things and be kind to everyone you meet, then you will probably achieve your goals or dreams - label them as you wish. 

So the blonde, blue eyed, beauty in the pretty dress is not relatable to most people, but the message transcends cultures and lives, and that is the power of fairy-tales and Disney. If you disagree then let me know in the comments - but please be kind, this is a space for discussion not hate.

And also I love the pretty dress and the handsome prince - because a girl can dream! (Although I would hark back to the old Cinderella and if I had a choice my dress would be pink)

Hope you are all well, 

Lots of Love, 

Amber xx

Waking up...

Dear Aphrodite, 

This morning I woke up at 6:30am - early for even the most well slept individual I think, and I had six and a half hours sleep , so I am not the most rested I could ever be. However there is a nack with waking up I've found so I thought I would share it. 

1. If you need a soundtrack to wake up - don't set it as your alarm tone, it will make you hate it. Also if you listen to the same song over and over, again you'll just end up hating it. To battle this I have my default alarm (which yes I hate) but then after I had opened my eyes and sat up I started listening to the Mood Booster playlist on Spotify, which this morning played Wake Me Up by Avicii - basically the best song for this morning as it was upbeat and said all the right things. 

I think playlists which randomly shuffle of all the songs that could lift your mood (or just wake you up) mean that you don't listen to the same song constantly so your brain shouldn't negatively link it to waking up early but still cheer you up (only at least from personal experience - I have no science to this thinking). 

2. Eat. And have a drink - you need it. When I wake up I feel empty most of the time - but the kitchen is downstairs and it forces me to get up. Even if by the time I get into work the food has evaporated and I have to eat a banana at my desk, I feel more ready to take on the day with some food inside me.

And I can't really function without a cup of tea in the morning (I wish I could drink coffee but I can't) but if I can't have tea, water is a good alternative especially with lemon in to make it zingy! It just leaves you all hydrated and ready to set off for the day - or preps your voice to sing in the shower if that's your thing (yes I do that it's great!).

3. Give yourself plenty of time to get ready to be early. This is a tricky one. If you have to leave the house at 8 and it takes you an hour and a half to get ready - wake up at 6. That way if you have to fight for the bathroom, your outfit doesn't look the way you wanted, or you have a disaster with your hair or makeup; you have a spare thirty minutes to fix it. 

I am really bad at this, but I do find it makes me more calm as I know if I have no energy to get ready fast then I can take my time (to some extent). Mornings are so much better if you don't have to rush - and that extra time can come in handy if you have something to do that you don't want to do when you get in. 

4. Pack your bag the night before. It just helps. Or if you don't know what you are wearing so haven't thought if your bag will go (I do worry about this) at least if you have all the stuff to go in it ready then you can just chuck it in when you do know what you are wearing. 

5. Most importantly: SMILE! It makes you feel better, it makes everyone else feel better. 

I commute so I understand that some mornings are more trying than others - and I do have a good rant from time to time, it's healthy I think, but at some point you have to just draw a line and have a good day, and a simple smile can help that. You can even accompany it with a upbeat mantra which you recite to yourself - mine is "Today is going to be a good day" - which is simple and to the point, also works wonders on your outlook on life. 

So that's it my tips for waking up and having a lovely morning. 

"It's a beautiful day" - Michael Buble

Have a super day readers! 

Lots of love,

Amber xx

Dear those who used to bully me,

Dear my old bullies, 

You didn't break me. Not even close. 

I spent years trying to fight you back, change myself and just disappear. But I should have just stayed true to myself because I am truly an awesome person and you nearly made me forget that. 

I wish I could go back in time and tell you all to F*** Off! And then do my best to just ignore you. But I was too fragile back then and I couldn't find the strength too. Or when I did you just laughed and I felt like crumbling. 

I am a strong, outspoken lady. And you should have respected that. But you were jealous I guess and I can't fix that. I can't change your inherent need to make people feel weak so you feel less so yourself. I wish you hadn't just targeted people who refused to be sheep with you all.

Some day I hope you will all realise and change, but I am glad you are no longer in my life so I really don't care either way. 

I am myself and I spent too much of my younger years not being true to me, but I am now who I should be and I am annoyed it took me as long as it did. It's better late than never though.

If you are being bullied, I know it is so hard and I am really sorry that you are experiencing what you are. This may or may not help to know that you are probably not alone but, whatever you do, stay true to yourself, the bullies want to make you feel powerless and that way they win. 

If you are strong enough then stand up for yourself, but I know that is not the easiest thing to do. Also tell someone, your school may not be able to permanently fix the issue but if you can find a way to fix it they should be willing to help. And you will always find someone who cares, there are even good places online that you can go to to look for advice that are anonymous. 

It will also end. Not as soon as you want in some cases, but you are not stuck in one place forever and it won't always be like this. I went through a bad two years but it did end, and little by little I put myself back together like a lego model. 

Looking back on that time I don't really think I could have changed anything, I wish it hadn't affected me so but it made me stronger today which I am thankful for now, as life is really hard sometimes, and the strength that got me through the bad years has served me well since.

Taking this back to where I started;

To the Bullies of the World, stop it. 

No seriously stop it. 

If you have issues that you want to work out, taking it out on others will only make you feel guilty, it won't solve them for you.

You need to find the confidence to be different, stand up for the kid that is being picked on for once! You can make a change for good; don't be sexist, homophobic, racist or just shitty. Be nice, kind and caring. 

Little by little the world gets better, but it won't if no one does anything. 

Your sincerely,

Amber x

On the eve of St Valentine's....

If you haven't got a date for tomorrow, don't despair. 

Tomorrow is about more than who you date, it is about LOVE, and you can love more than one person. I love my family, my friends and my cat, that love is what defines me, not my relationship status. 

You are never really alone, apart from inside your own head I guess, but there is always someone who loves you, they may just not bombard you with a dozen red roses on one day of the year. 

Tomorrow for me is a day where I celebrate LOVE. That crazy four letter word that will be plastered everywhere and then dispersed into the ether. 

Love is amazing, it keeps us alive. 

I also don't buy into the idea you can be too young to be in love. I have loved a lot; I love my family and I have loved people when they had no idea, and that has spanned 18 years. 

I have loved my mum since I came into the world, and I wasn't too young for love then. 

So if you are young (and you can feel young at any age too) or are experiencing a new love and someone tells you that you aren't in love when you feel like you are; don't listen to them, they don't understand how you feel most likely, but the thing about love is it's unique to the beholder, we all feel it in different ways, so that doesn't mean it isn't real. 

Love is great, and we as humanity should learn to love each other, that way the world would be a better place. 

So for tomorrow, love-birds be merry, treasure your loved ones and celebrate that wonderful thing of falling in love. Cupid send out your arrows and Aphrodite, I call on you to help those that feel lonely to remember they are loved above all, because they still have more love to give. 

Best wishes my loving friends,

Amber xx♥

Taking leaps and saying yes!

Sometimes in life you have to risk things, somethings you just can't plan for, and sometimes the best answer to shall I do this is YES! 

Hey everyone, 

So I am having a really nice time at the moment and it is because I just keep saying yes (within reason) when opportunities arrive. 

I am a pretty big worrier but I always manage to land on my feet (eventually) so I really ought to stop worrying as much and take more risks. To be honest, most of the awesome stuff that I have been up to recently is down to me just taking that inital scary leap and it all working out ok in the end. 

It is therefore I recommendation of this blog to say yes more often and worry less, if you want good stuff to happen you have to stick your neck out at least some of the way. Nothing happens to people who just sit and wait for life to start happening, you have to grab opportunities with both hands.

Remember however that nothing in life is easy, and nothing is guaranteed. Leaps of faith are that because there is always some element of the unknown, and life can and will creep up on you to put a spanner in the works.

And if it does, take it from someone who has survived a fair few myself, don't worry, because opportunities you are meant to have work out, while ones that don't point you towards your real self. 

I always thought I would go to Cambridge and study science and become the worlds best scientific researcher, but as the door was closed when that moment came, instead I unlocked the human rights driven, legal mind from within me, and now, miles from Cambridge, I am more true to myself than I would be if it had worked out as I had thought. And I am 100% sure I am happier now than I would of been too. 

So reach for the stars when you can, and then you'll always sparkle. 

Hope you are all well,

Love Amber xx♥️

Annual Happiness Tips 2015... Not New Years Resolutions!

Hi all, Happy New Year!

I've been doing some decorating on my fashion blog and so I wanted to launch the new year with a simultaneous post on both blogs at the same time, especially as this post bridges both topics well.

I haven't forgotten this blog however, but with this being my more personal musings I have been posting on here less often in the past year as it has been quite an emotional ride. I will be more active on here this year as I have a better hold of myself now than I did before.

Anyway to the root of this post which is about my Annual Happiness Tips 2015.

My big problem, and I think most people's problem, with New Years Resolutions (NYRS from now on in this post) is that everyone tries to make them, but tends to break them within the year, some don't even see out January.

Resolution in the Oxford English Dictionary is "A firm decision to do or not to do something", so by making and then breaking a resolution, you nullify the term in its entirety. Most people seem to make NYRS that are frankly untenable in their daily lives and then curse the tradition when they break/fail to meet their decisions made on January 1st. I always find myself saying I will never eat chocolate again, then diving into the leftover box of Celebrations; or that I will blog three times a week and then you don't hear from me for months. It is as if the tradition has become a joke in modern day life, so enter my Annual Happiness Tips.

Annual Happiness Tips are my version of NYRS as they are simple suggestions that I want to make every year to make myself happier, but and most importantly of all, they are only tips, they can be ignored, broken, interpreted etc. anyway I like. So no more pressure, hassle or guilt, basically my idea of perfection.

This year I have made four tips to enhance my life in 2015 and I have written these in my journal and will share them with you all now:

1. Be healthy but don't make myself crazy with worrying or feeling guilty when I am simply enjoying my life!
2. Be happy for what I have in life and remember that everyday (but at the same time it is ok to be sad every now and again - just not more often than I am happy). 
3. Be more creative more often; blog, do more photography, spend more time colouring and do more Lego building! 
4. Do something amazing every month; from seeing friends to travelling or just having an excellent experience at home with my family. 

If you hate making NYRS like I do, I hope that Annual Happiness Tips will make life better and take the pressure off at this time of the year,

Happy 2015 everyone, I hope you had a lovely festive season and are looking forward to a brilliant new year!

Lots of luv,

Amber xx♥