Wednesday, 31 August 2011
I will wait for you...
Hey,
So this post is about when someone says to you or asks you to wait for them and it happens a lot more than most people think. Everytime you text/call or speak to someone they ask you to wait for there reply no matter how long that takes - and it can be anything from almost instantly to months and months. Some people are very patient and can wait for that person, I on the other had have the worst patience in the world (apart from my mum) and am like a lot of people who hate to have to wait and then sometimes get let down by the response.
I guess the best way to handle this in life is to learn the hard way, for some people I have completely given up hope that they will care enough to give me a response but not everyone is that bad, trust me. In a new relationship it takes time to get through the akwardness of not being with each other a lot and then trying to convert that over a distance is hard, so the best thing to do is persevere but don't become needy (that's not cool) if it helps then yes, get mad, act not bothered, just do anything to keep you from giving up because it does turn around in the end. And you will get an answer either a yay or a nay.
Oh a just a note on long distance relationships, despite popular belief that they fail, some people do actually make them work over time, probably not the best idea if you don't completely trust the other person but hey, if you don't trust them when they are close to you, that needs to be addressed before you even think of taking the relationship further.
Finally, this waiting thing is not the same if you are waiting for results or jobs etc. Everyone has to wait so suck it up, if you did your best then the results will reflect that and you will always find some way of persuing your dreams and anyway "if you reach high enough, you make just find something unusual, happiness...."
Lots of Love,
Amber xx
Tuesday, 23 August 2011
Tugging at the heart's strings ♥
Hey readers,
When two people meet nature releases a spark into the air and it either lights or dwindles into ashes. For scientists it's the release of hormones that make people fall in love or no release and no romance is created. Now I fully believe in the chemistry aspect but I'm sure it's more than just hormones (sorry science)
Something that happens A LOT in nature is that two people meet and there is chemistry but it takes one of the pair longer to feel it than the other, which can lead to one potential heartbreak and a tonne load of confusion. As humans it's natural to get wrapped up in the comfort a Romeo and Juliet relationship will bring to your life, but sometimes pushing things is defiantly not the way to get the ideal result.
I have truly learnt this lesson the hard way as life is seriously surprising and you can think you feel things and the other person can be completely unaware of how you feel and how to treat you. Usually the key is to enjoy the relationship in whatever form it is. Yes, talking to other friends and family can make you see the other person differently to how the situation really is but you have to shake yourself to the reality that you are only at the stage you are and if its right, its right.
It's been said by psychologists that you make a lasting impression on someone in the first 2 minutes you meet them and that's what will stick in their mind, well I believe that its the first time you meet someone on your own that the true personality comes out. When you see someone on their own and if they let you in to the real them its usually a good sign but it can and should take several weeks before you decide if they can be worth spending time and effort on and maybe even making them a friend.
Not to sound cynical about love at first sight but as I observe it, relationships tend to work better if you are friends as well because you already know their flaws and also it largely reduces the 'issues' that break couples up over. As this post is missing one of my legendary metaphors here is a cheesy one: "You need to be able to drive before you jump into an F1 car, because at least then you can steer and break"
Never forget: trying to hide who you really are in a relationship will mean you live in a lie which could be self destructive, you should seriously be in love with the person who (apart from family and longtime friends) knows all about you and your flaws and will be your best friend when that's all you need.
Luv as always,
Amber xx
When two people meet nature releases a spark into the air and it either lights or dwindles into ashes. For scientists it's the release of hormones that make people fall in love or no release and no romance is created. Now I fully believe in the chemistry aspect but I'm sure it's more than just hormones (sorry science)
Something that happens A LOT in nature is that two people meet and there is chemistry but it takes one of the pair longer to feel it than the other, which can lead to one potential heartbreak and a tonne load of confusion. As humans it's natural to get wrapped up in the comfort a Romeo and Juliet relationship will bring to your life, but sometimes pushing things is defiantly not the way to get the ideal result.
I have truly learnt this lesson the hard way as life is seriously surprising and you can think you feel things and the other person can be completely unaware of how you feel and how to treat you. Usually the key is to enjoy the relationship in whatever form it is. Yes, talking to other friends and family can make you see the other person differently to how the situation really is but you have to shake yourself to the reality that you are only at the stage you are and if its right, its right.
It's been said by psychologists that you make a lasting impression on someone in the first 2 minutes you meet them and that's what will stick in their mind, well I believe that its the first time you meet someone on your own that the true personality comes out. When you see someone on their own and if they let you in to the real them its usually a good sign but it can and should take several weeks before you decide if they can be worth spending time and effort on and maybe even making them a friend.
Not to sound cynical about love at first sight but as I observe it, relationships tend to work better if you are friends as well because you already know their flaws and also it largely reduces the 'issues' that break couples up over. As this post is missing one of my legendary metaphors here is a cheesy one: "You need to be able to drive before you jump into an F1 car, because at least then you can steer and break"
Never forget: trying to hide who you really are in a relationship will mean you live in a lie which could be self destructive, you should seriously be in love with the person who (apart from family and longtime friends) knows all about you and your flaws and will be your best friend when that's all you need.
Luv as always,
Amber xx
Thursday, 4 August 2011
Escaping Reality...
Hey,
Holidays are the perfect time to escape anything that may be stuck in your mind and you can't seem to shake it. This holiday I want to esacpe from my normal life, the one that I am lucky to have and I know that. However, every now and then we all need to escape. I thought I could do it sitting by the docks in Canary Wharf, watching people go by but all I could think about was the one thing I wanted to escape from: myself.
When life catches up with you, you're normally fine but it can take forever to get over something. This time I am ready to be relaxed and removed. When you escape you shouldn't change yourself, just open your mind to the idea that everything will be fine as soon as it can be. Just take yourself and a friend and go wherever necessary to loose the worries. It can be a spot you love, country, town, house, you name it.
I guess you guys have realised that I believe in the universal balance of life. Once you have been through enough, life will give you an opportunity to loose the stress, pain, conflict and be truly at peace, it comes eventually I promise. It's part of the order, don't let it pass by.
Remember however escaping reality is temporary, eventually you come back but it does have the chance to change you and that cannot be missed. After all every thing is happening all at once and in a planet of 7 billion people, no one is ever alone despite what it may feel like at the time. Always remember to reach out and you will find someone who can help you to your inner peace, I suppose for me it's my mum, but it can be anyone, anyone who is special.
Luv as always and best wishes,
Amber xx
Holidays are the perfect time to escape anything that may be stuck in your mind and you can't seem to shake it. This holiday I want to esacpe from my normal life, the one that I am lucky to have and I know that. However, every now and then we all need to escape. I thought I could do it sitting by the docks in Canary Wharf, watching people go by but all I could think about was the one thing I wanted to escape from: myself.
When life catches up with you, you're normally fine but it can take forever to get over something. This time I am ready to be relaxed and removed. When you escape you shouldn't change yourself, just open your mind to the idea that everything will be fine as soon as it can be. Just take yourself and a friend and go wherever necessary to loose the worries. It can be a spot you love, country, town, house, you name it.
I guess you guys have realised that I believe in the universal balance of life. Once you have been through enough, life will give you an opportunity to loose the stress, pain, conflict and be truly at peace, it comes eventually I promise. It's part of the order, don't let it pass by.
Remember however escaping reality is temporary, eventually you come back but it does have the chance to change you and that cannot be missed. After all every thing is happening all at once and in a planet of 7 billion people, no one is ever alone despite what it may feel like at the time. Always remember to reach out and you will find someone who can help you to your inner peace, I suppose for me it's my mum, but it can be anyone, anyone who is special.
Luv as always and best wishes,
Amber xx
Monday, 1 August 2011
Ego: The dark side
Hey guys,
So one of the most common things I talk to people about relationships is how the other person is acting. The shocking thing is when it comes to having a relationship, unless the two parties are completly on the same page, games tend to be played. And both sexes are as bad as each other. Ego is the issue hear. If you want to get attention from the other person you look for ways to get the desired effect; getting power over the other person is usually the easiest way.
And you should be able to spot the insecurities a mile off, but it does take practise. All I can really say is that relationships should be able to function normally, you should both be able to have a balanced life and a happy one. You shouldn't have to say anything that is a lie to protect the world from seeing the real side to the other person. In no relationship should one person be made weaker than the other to solve a self-confidence issue. If you have to defend the other person to your friends and family, then maybe you should take a look at the relationship in more detail. Are you always made to look like the one in the wrong? Do you let the other person get away with basically hurting you infront of your face just because after they will talk cute to get you back? Worst of all; Does someone have a temper that they just 'can't' control?
All of these statements are used day in day out by the people who are trapped in a bad relationship. Sorry to be blunt but thats what it is. If you have ever had to say anything close to the stuff in the paragraph above, get out of the relationship because it could get so much worse and you could put yourself at real risk, especially the beating and domestic abuse. Relationships that contain abuse even small, never gets better, it means there is anger and all that will do is grow. It's a warning from nature, you'll be wise to listen to.
So I hope you all have taken note because it does happen, most people are genuine but there are plently of people waiting for a power-trip and it's hard but you cannot let it happen. Balance is the point of the universe, ying and yang, light and dark, black and white.
Best wishes, if you need my advice on anything drop me a comment and I'll do my best,
Amber xx
So one of the most common things I talk to people about relationships is how the other person is acting. The shocking thing is when it comes to having a relationship, unless the two parties are completly on the same page, games tend to be played. And both sexes are as bad as each other. Ego is the issue hear. If you want to get attention from the other person you look for ways to get the desired effect; getting power over the other person is usually the easiest way.
And you should be able to spot the insecurities a mile off, but it does take practise. All I can really say is that relationships should be able to function normally, you should both be able to have a balanced life and a happy one. You shouldn't have to say anything that is a lie to protect the world from seeing the real side to the other person. In no relationship should one person be made weaker than the other to solve a self-confidence issue. If you have to defend the other person to your friends and family, then maybe you should take a look at the relationship in more detail. Are you always made to look like the one in the wrong? Do you let the other person get away with basically hurting you infront of your face just because after they will talk cute to get you back? Worst of all; Does someone have a temper that they just 'can't' control?
All of these statements are used day in day out by the people who are trapped in a bad relationship. Sorry to be blunt but thats what it is. If you have ever had to say anything close to the stuff in the paragraph above, get out of the relationship because it could get so much worse and you could put yourself at real risk, especially the beating and domestic abuse. Relationships that contain abuse even small, never gets better, it means there is anger and all that will do is grow. It's a warning from nature, you'll be wise to listen to.
So I hope you all have taken note because it does happen, most people are genuine but there are plently of people waiting for a power-trip and it's hard but you cannot let it happen. Balance is the point of the universe, ying and yang, light and dark, black and white.
Best wishes, if you need my advice on anything drop me a comment and I'll do my best,
Amber xx
Friday, 29 July 2011
Romance is NOT dead!
Hey,
Right people lets get the ball rolling with the first subject matter: Romance. Now I am well aware that I am not alone in wishing to be properly romanced by a guy, however I see many a girl/woman, fully aware of the concept of romance, throwing herself at the first thing that moves, reducing her self respect to nought and showing herself to the world as frankly desperate. And guys you are not innocent. Women and girls these days are convinced that every man will go for the most desperate looking one and then make her his girlfriend, but what thoes who think that don't realise is; that yes the guy is more likely to 'come on' to you if you look like you want it too but then you will just be used as a booty call for his lonely situations and in the end, left heartbroken when another female attracts his attention. You should never have to change yourself for a guy. Guys who want long term relationships want to be with a female that will be attractive to them and not have to worry about all his mates constantly hitting on her because she flaunts it. Yes you can be pretty and confident- everyone should be, but if every male you meet sees you drunk, half naked and out of it, you can be pretty deffinate that the idea of any more than one nighters and non-exclusivity is not in his mind.
The main principles of romance is this. Girls, you should be both yourself and confident, you are females and with that comes and air of class, mystery and elegance that simply the other sex does not have. You do not have to chase men, in fact thats the complete opposite to romance. If a man is attracted to you he will do the leg work: If he sees you when you feel ugly it won't matter to him, he will take you out and pay for your meal, he will ask you out (never, ever, ever ask a man out), he will be kind when you need him too, know what to say to make you smile, be respectful firstly of you and secondly of your family and will always put you first. Basically if you have watched any good chick flick, pick the guy, add in some flaws for good mesure and never compromise what you want from him. Also in romance you have to be classy, be polite, look amazing (dresses are always good) and make him see the real you, it's ok to let him in occasionally. I am not saying every man is prince charming, infact he sounds too perfect. Guys have flaws but thats to be expected, you just have to find the personality that fits yours, never give up on finding the one, he is out there and you will know it when you find it.
Guys, lets get one thing straight, females are not to be disrespected. Sexism stopped a long time ago and really you should know not to make women inferior. Even in the days of Guys and Dolls, men could be charming and romantic. Everytime you say something against women, you disrespect your mother, grandmother, aunt, sister, do I need to go on? Some men I have to commend, there are quiet a few out there who would never say anything of the sort and I really wish that you find the woman for you because you deserve them. The whole 'Bros before Hoes' concept is gross. Men, all women want is to be found amazing and to be truely in love. Like I said before, we don't really want a prince but we do want to be cared for and life is all about what you put in, you get out. Treating us how you want to be treated will work out for you, as life of casual relationships will leave you bitter and alone. Just turn up looking your best, smile, be you and let chemistry do the rest. Nothing like clean clothes and a good persona, after all, girls like men, just want to have fun.
Culture has changed and less relationships are going the distance and I really hope by writing this I can maybe make one relationship last more than a few months. Whatever sex you are, whatever country, town, city etc, you live in, just remember in a relationship it needs two lovely people and a helping of chemistry. Never pretend to be something you're not, the person you are is good enough to let nature find you a match, and finally be cool, don't force a relationship out of somthing it's not going to be, it will take a few trips and stumbles before you find someone but trust me you will.
Best Wishes,
Amber xx
Right people lets get the ball rolling with the first subject matter: Romance. Now I am well aware that I am not alone in wishing to be properly romanced by a guy, however I see many a girl/woman, fully aware of the concept of romance, throwing herself at the first thing that moves, reducing her self respect to nought and showing herself to the world as frankly desperate. And guys you are not innocent. Women and girls these days are convinced that every man will go for the most desperate looking one and then make her his girlfriend, but what thoes who think that don't realise is; that yes the guy is more likely to 'come on' to you if you look like you want it too but then you will just be used as a booty call for his lonely situations and in the end, left heartbroken when another female attracts his attention. You should never have to change yourself for a guy. Guys who want long term relationships want to be with a female that will be attractive to them and not have to worry about all his mates constantly hitting on her because she flaunts it. Yes you can be pretty and confident- everyone should be, but if every male you meet sees you drunk, half naked and out of it, you can be pretty deffinate that the idea of any more than one nighters and non-exclusivity is not in his mind.
The main principles of romance is this. Girls, you should be both yourself and confident, you are females and with that comes and air of class, mystery and elegance that simply the other sex does not have. You do not have to chase men, in fact thats the complete opposite to romance. If a man is attracted to you he will do the leg work: If he sees you when you feel ugly it won't matter to him, he will take you out and pay for your meal, he will ask you out (never, ever, ever ask a man out), he will be kind when you need him too, know what to say to make you smile, be respectful firstly of you and secondly of your family and will always put you first. Basically if you have watched any good chick flick, pick the guy, add in some flaws for good mesure and never compromise what you want from him. Also in romance you have to be classy, be polite, look amazing (dresses are always good) and make him see the real you, it's ok to let him in occasionally. I am not saying every man is prince charming, infact he sounds too perfect. Guys have flaws but thats to be expected, you just have to find the personality that fits yours, never give up on finding the one, he is out there and you will know it when you find it.
Guys, lets get one thing straight, females are not to be disrespected. Sexism stopped a long time ago and really you should know not to make women inferior. Even in the days of Guys and Dolls, men could be charming and romantic. Everytime you say something against women, you disrespect your mother, grandmother, aunt, sister, do I need to go on? Some men I have to commend, there are quiet a few out there who would never say anything of the sort and I really wish that you find the woman for you because you deserve them. The whole 'Bros before Hoes' concept is gross. Men, all women want is to be found amazing and to be truely in love. Like I said before, we don't really want a prince but we do want to be cared for and life is all about what you put in, you get out. Treating us how you want to be treated will work out for you, as life of casual relationships will leave you bitter and alone. Just turn up looking your best, smile, be you and let chemistry do the rest. Nothing like clean clothes and a good persona, after all, girls like men, just want to have fun.
Culture has changed and less relationships are going the distance and I really hope by writing this I can maybe make one relationship last more than a few months. Whatever sex you are, whatever country, town, city etc, you live in, just remember in a relationship it needs two lovely people and a helping of chemistry. Never pretend to be something you're not, the person you are is good enough to let nature find you a match, and finally be cool, don't force a relationship out of somthing it's not going to be, it will take a few trips and stumbles before you find someone but trust me you will.
Best Wishes,
Amber xx
Thursday, 28 July 2011
First Post: Hey
Hello World!
This blog was an idea created after I spent half an hour giving a close companion relationship advice and they suggested I write it all down in a blog. This is actually my second blog. My first is a fashion blog (see link) http://diaryofalondonteenagefashionista.blogspot.com/ I love writing and so I decided to take them up on the idea and here I am.
Basically, for a long long time friends have been coming to me for advice on all aspects of life. I am a teenager and have been recommended for an agony aunt in my school paper (until it shut down) and I am usually who people come to about any problems they may have, relationship or otherwise. Now I am very bad at taking my own advice but most of the time it works out for other people.
I am all about respecting yourself first an foremost, nobody will ever take a relationship further with you if you seem like you can't even respect yourself. I truely believe in the fact that "Before you love others, you must learn to love yourself" Now I am not sure who came up with that but along time ago it came to me and I really agree with it. It's one of my life motto's I am glad to share with you all (there will be many more trust me)
The worst thing I hear is people saying 'I'm playing the game' Well mate, to be blunt, that's obvious and trust me the only relationships you will get with that attitude will end badly. Love is a game but you don't 'play it' I would say it's more like a long-haul flight. You are either keen on getting to the destination or you should just jump off now and save yourself the jet-lag and the baggage fees.
Now I am also up for talking about life. Now life really is a game. I am huge believer in fate but it always needs a helping hand. My first ever bit of philosophy was "mummy, life is like a pushchair" I was in my pram and I made a hell of a lot of sense. Think about it; life carries you through, sometimes it collapses and you have to build it back up, sometimes you take the break off and it rushes away. Now with life you only have so much control. It's all about making choices and I am one of the most indecisive people I know and I'm still surviving!
So this is the chance for me to talk about whatever it is you need me too. If you comment a direct idea you want me to address I will answer as best as I can and as soon as I can. If not check back as I am soon to be writing another post.
Best wishes,
Amber
This blog was an idea created after I spent half an hour giving a close companion relationship advice and they suggested I write it all down in a blog. This is actually my second blog. My first is a fashion blog (see link) http://diaryofalondonteenagefashionista.blogspot.com/ I love writing and so I decided to take them up on the idea and here I am.
Basically, for a long long time friends have been coming to me for advice on all aspects of life. I am a teenager and have been recommended for an agony aunt in my school paper (until it shut down) and I am usually who people come to about any problems they may have, relationship or otherwise. Now I am very bad at taking my own advice but most of the time it works out for other people.
I am all about respecting yourself first an foremost, nobody will ever take a relationship further with you if you seem like you can't even respect yourself. I truely believe in the fact that "Before you love others, you must learn to love yourself" Now I am not sure who came up with that but along time ago it came to me and I really agree with it. It's one of my life motto's I am glad to share with you all (there will be many more trust me)
The worst thing I hear is people saying 'I'm playing the game' Well mate, to be blunt, that's obvious and trust me the only relationships you will get with that attitude will end badly. Love is a game but you don't 'play it' I would say it's more like a long-haul flight. You are either keen on getting to the destination or you should just jump off now and save yourself the jet-lag and the baggage fees.
Now I am also up for talking about life. Now life really is a game. I am huge believer in fate but it always needs a helping hand. My first ever bit of philosophy was "mummy, life is like a pushchair" I was in my pram and I made a hell of a lot of sense. Think about it; life carries you through, sometimes it collapses and you have to build it back up, sometimes you take the break off and it rushes away. Now with life you only have so much control. It's all about making choices and I am one of the most indecisive people I know and I'm still surviving!
So this is the chance for me to talk about whatever it is you need me too. If you comment a direct idea you want me to address I will answer as best as I can and as soon as I can. If not check back as I am soon to be writing another post.
Best wishes,
Amber
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